Awakening

by Sara Groves:

Dress down your pretty faith, give me something real
Leave out the Thee and Thou and speak to me now
Speak to my pain and confusion
Speak through my fears and my pride
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside

I know that I'm not perfect, but compare me to most
In a world of hurt in a world of anger I think I'm holding my own
And I know that you've said there is more to life
No I am not satisfied
But there are mornings I wake up and I’m just thankful to be alive

I've known for quite a while that I am not whole
I've remembered the body and the mind, but dissected the soul
Now something inside is awakening
Like a dream I once had and forgot
And it's something I'm scared of and something I don't want to stop

I woke up this morning and realized
Jesus is not a portrait
Or stained glass windows
Or hymns
Or all the tradition that surrounds us

I thought it would be hard to believe in, but it's not hard at all
To believe I've sinned
And fallen short
Of the glory of God

He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real amazing grace

And it's not just a sign or a sacrament
It's not just a metaphor for love
The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of our faith.

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This "new" journey started for me a week ago.

I had a very close friend walk through the hardest part with me. She prayed and felt the same heaviness I felt. Friends like that don't come along every day. I don't have to mention her name, but she knows who she is. I love you! Thank you for being there for me... through all of this messy stuff.

I first thought that Sara's song, Glory Come Down, was my "theme song" through this journey. 'Cause when I tell you I've held on to the chains, I've grasped for them.. they are a comfort... in some weird way. I rushed to iTunes to buy the CD and nothing... nada. I had to buy the WHOLE CD to get this one song that I just KNEW that God had put in the right place at the right time.

He laughs and when I get the CD tonight, I totally fall in love with the song I posted the lyrics to above. Wow is all I can say. I've said the word, "wow" way too many times this week... its all because of the fact that God just keeps putting people in my life or scripture or songs to speak to me.

I can't tell you how excited I am to start on this journey to a new me. I hope you will join me!